Pie Crust #6

I finally nailed a pie crust. Totally blew it out of the water.

I was absolutely convinced it was an utter failure.

2 1/4 cups cake flour (not self-rising)
1/4 teaspoon salt
2 sticks (1 cup) unsalted butter, frozen
1/3 cup vodka from the freezer
1/3 cup ice water

OKAY TIME TO PUT YO PANTS ON WE GONNA MAKE A PIE CRUST

Apparently if you want to double this recipe, don't. Just make it twice. 

Freeze everything you can. Butter, vodka, salt, flour. The bowl. COLD.

That said, the most important thing is for the butter to be frozen, and the vodka and ice water. If you don't do the flour or salt, it'll still turn out, but pie making is less about making a good crust and more about stacking the deck in your favour and hoping for the best, right?

Sift the flour and salt together.

Stick your grater right in it. Grate half the butter into the dry mixture, and then mix the butter flakes into the flour. Then grate the second half and do the same. Look at the mess you've made and wonder if this recipe is totally sane.

In a separate container, mix together the vodka and ice water. 

Okay, so you're going to have 2/3 cup of vodka/water, right? Here's the thing. Maybe you'll need 1/2 cup of that mixture. Maybe you'll need all of it, and an extra tablespoon of ice water, okay? Pie crust is a finicky diva and sometimes it's just like that. 

Start dribbling it in, very gently mixing it with a fork as you go. Take a good, long look once you hit 1/2 cup of liquid, because it might be ready then. The mixture is going to look dry AF, but it does need to stick together somewhat. Just do your best, and when you think it's still kind of dry but might hold together, stop. You can always dribble a little more water on it if you really need to, when you're kneading and smooshing it with your hands.

Split it into four balls. Knead each ball once with the palm of your hand. Why? Because that's the way the pie gods want it. 

Put two balls together into a flat disc. Do the same for the other two. Don't overmix. Or do. Honestly, this recipe's pretty forgiving, but again, you're less trying to make a crust, and more trying to not f*ck it all up, so do your best.

Wrap the two discs in plastic wrap, or in a ziploc bag, and let rest in the fridge for 2 hours.

Roll out on a well-floured surface. Discover that you haven't floured enough, and use a spatula to pull the dough off the counter. Dust again. Dust the rolling pin. Dust the top of the crust. Dust like it's china white and you're Sly Stallone. 

Do the rolling pin thing where you roll it over the pin and move it to the pie plate. Ditto for the top crust once you're ready, or slice it into strips as you like.

Bake until awesome.

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